So this weekend Bish came down to London to chill, skate and eat. We did our usual thing of planning on going to various spots but I was recovering from my perpetual hangover and didn’t get out of bed early enough to go street. I’m currently homeless because I make bad life decisions and go on holidays when I should be trying to find a house. At the moment I live on my friends floor with my old housemate. It’s a pretty sweet deal, I’ve made a bed out of a pile of clothes and since James isn’t a Rat King like me, he actually gets up so I have a personal human alarm clock.
This is a pretty regular scene in our home, James working on an essay for university with me acting as eye candy in my pile of mess. I’ve also ran out of money so I’m surviving on a box of Skittles I was bought for my birthday. In all honesty, my urine is essentially full of sugar, who says diabetics can’t live the dream.
So after Bish got to freaked out by the conditions I live in and the fact that no matter where he sat he was going to be touching germs we went to Mudchute to play skateboards.
At this point I was trying to avoid the fact that it felt like my organs were going to drop out through my arsehole and hoisted myself an ollie fakie.
Following the gut wrenching ollie fakie, I did a jump over the hip. If I was legit I’d have tweaked it out but I’m big poof and the amount of alcohol seeping out of every pore in my body meant that I kept the first one which looked in anyway legit.
Bish risked his cameras safety by letting me use it, luckily it’s waterproof as it looked like someone had left it in a sink after I touched it. Here he is performing a 5.0 on a bank which has a cheeky bit of metal on it so you can never pretend you aren’t skating a park.
Being the absalute heart throb I am, Bish got a few photos for my new modelling portfolio. My big heros in modelling in are Kate Moss and Kenneth Stitt. If everyone could start calling Thomas Mellon now I think I can really get my career to thrive.
So we went to Bish’s brother’s flat to do the one thing we actually needed to do.
As you may or may not know recently a group of naughty boys and girls smashed up every shop in London and stole a lot of shit shoes and everyone who didn’t get to play with them was really annoyed. In an attempt to stop this happening again I am starting an ad campaign of me repping knives, guns and various other weapons so that all of the rude boys will no longer want to be associated with violent crime for fear of being as white as me.